President Pussywhipped

It seems to be a fairly common remark made these days to people who voted for Barack Obama in 2008: "I bet you regret it." Well that depends...

If you're a Republican and you mean that we should regret not voting for a borderline senile old man and a woman who LITERALLY believes that dinosaurs and human beings co-existed and is currently shopping a reality show, then no I don't regret voting for Obama. If you're actually approaching it from a nonpartisan angle, then yes I might regret it.

Unlike many people I know, I'm fairly reasonable when it comes to my politics. While I admit that I have very strong opinions, I am by no means an ideologue incapable of even considering an opposing viewpoint. I'm also not above admitting when a person I support comes up short.

President Obama has certainly come up short in his first year of office. His attempts at bipartisanship sure looked good on paper, but like virtually all pussy Democrats he failed to realize that the Republicans don't want to be his friends. Several Republicans have even gone on record as saying that they will automatically oppose any Obama idea no matter what it is. At this point Obama could propose a bill to deliver Christmas presents to orphan children and Glenn Beck would label it communism. The health care bill has been watered down over and over again, and still it's being called socialist. But instead of getting angry and calling out the other side on their obvious lies and hypocrisy on voting rules, Obama is content to rely on his best friends in the media to do that for him. Earth to Obama: THAT'S YOUR JOB! Obama's desire to be all things to all people is the only sure way to mean nothing to anybody.

But do I regret voting for him? It's hard to say. I didn't vote for him under the assumption that he would get into office and really change much of anything. I voted for him because the Republican party has become a sickening joke hellbent on turning this country into a theocracy. The thought of another four years from a party that gave us eight years of George W. Bush (and then tried to pretend that never happened) was enough to make me vote for Homer Simpson before I voted for a Republican.

I'm not ashamed to admit I like Obama on a personal level. Is he a typical politician? You bet. Still, he's not a son of privilege, and he's not a religious fanatic. I actually do believe he has good intentions. I'd just like to see him produce. He's taking the left for granted while taking it in the ass from the right.

I might vote for Obama again in 2012 if he actually shows some balls between now and then. If he doesn't, I'll do what I did in the NJ Governor race and vote Independent. And to all my conservative friends, let me say this: People who voted for Obama are disappointed in him because he's too much like you, not because he's too liberal, so get over yourselves :)

My Top 10 All-Time Albums

This list is not my opinion, it is 100% certifiable fact.

Alright, so it is just an opinion. Listening to the new Against Me! album, "White Crosses," that was just leaked has reminded me how amazing it feels when you fall in love with an album on first listen and can't stop listening no matter how hard you try. My taste in music is about as diverse as it gets, so I doubt anyone will agree with any two on this list, but nonetheless, I present my Top 10 favorite Albums of all time:

10. "Modern Artillery" by The Living End

As sick as I am of this band (thanks mostly to an overzealous fanboy who doubles as a guitarist in my band), I simply cannot deny the brilliance of this album. Amazing musicianship coupled with ridiculously memorable and exciting hooks make this a truly epic album.

Standout Track: "Maitland Street"



9. "Cool to Be You" by The Descendents

The founding fathers of nerd-rock (eat your heart out Weezer) truly struck gold with this 2004 release. This album has something for every kind of music fan. Poppy songs, hardcore songs, and hilarious songs make this album a breath of fresh air. It's also best enjoyed during the summer. Let's hope they get back into the studio sometime this century.

Standout Track: "Maddie"



8. "Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too" by New Radicals

This short lived vanity project of Gregg Alexander managed to create a masterpiece with their first and only album in 1998. Songs that are as heartbreaking as they are uplifting land this album on my list. Plus it doesn't hurt that the album includes my favorite song of all time.

Standout Track: "You Get What You Give"



7. "Indestructible" by Rancid

What can I possibly say about the album that changed my life forever? Long story short, I was on an immersion trip in West Virginia when I was 16, and lost the booklet with all my Cd's in it (yes we used Walkmans back then). This kid let me borrow the one Cd he had with him, and it happened to be this one. I must have listened to it 15 times through driving back to Jersey in the van. Let's put it this way: I never repurchased the Good Charlotte Cd I lost. I was hooked on real punk rock from then on. If one album changed my life, this was it.

Standout Track: "Start Now"



6. "Yes, Virginia" by The Dresden Dolls

The Dresden Dolls are just about the only good thing to ever come out of Boston, and this album is extraordinary. How a woman playing a piano and a guy playing drums can create this kind of magic baffles me. This is probably the most original album I've ever heard, both musically and lyrically, and the songs will break your heart and terrify you at the same time. Hey, I got the cover tattooed on me, so I'm not bullshitting.

Standout Track: "Shores of California"



5. "The War on Errorism" by NOFX

While Green Day get the credit for leading the punk rock charge against George W. Bush, it was really NOFX that got the ball rolling. If "American Idiot" was a slap in the face to conservative America, then this album was a hard kick in the groin. Fat Mike rails against everything from politicians to the punk rock scene, and most importantly, never forgets to be funny.

Standout Track: "Idiots Are Taking Over"



4. "Streetcore" by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros

I'm convinced that only Joe Strummer could have put out a half finished, posthumous album and have it be a masterpiece. "Streetcore," released a year after his tragic death in 2002, is one fucking hell of an album. The vocals are as reflective as they are raspy, and as always with a Joe Strummer song, you can't help but hang on every word. Also, Strummer's jubilant and seemingly defiant shout of "Let it Roll!" or "Rock and Roll!" (I'm still not sure which) at the end of the song "Coma Girl" is enough to bring a tear to even the most hardcore punk rocker's eye.

Standout Track: "Coma Girl"



3. "London Calling" by The Clash

Speaking of the late Joe Strummer, this album is a must have for any real rock and roller's collection. The Clash proved they were more than just a scrappy three-chord punk band with this totally original and seminal album. But besides the obvious significance of this album, it's just pure fun, which sadly is sometimes a rarity in the rock world. Truly one of the greatest albums ever produced.

Standout Track: "Lost in the Supermarket"



2. "American Idiot" by Green Day

While it has numerous detractors (some of whom make decent points), to me this will always be the definitive rock album of the 2000's and possibly even my generation. Fuck the concept album part of it, the bottom line is that these are just some FANTASTIC songs. While it often gets labeled as a political album, it's really so much more than that. It also gave new life to an aging and seemingly over the hill band that is now once again on top of the world.

Standout Track: "Jesus of Suburbia"



1. "Let it Be" by The Beatles

C'mon, did you really think I wouldn't include a Beatles album? Truth be told, I could have made the entire list from Beatle albums alone, but that wouldn't have been very interesting. I often waffle on my favorite Beatles album. "Magical Mystery Tour," "The White Album," and "Abbey Road" are all up there, but when I really think about it, this tops them all. Perfect from start to finish, "Let it Be" was recorded during the most tumultuous period in the history of The Beatles, and maybe that's what made it so great. However if you're going to buy this album, try to purchase the "Naked" version which is devoid of Phil Spector's "Wall of Sound" bullshit.

Standout Track: "Across the Universe"



Well there you have it. I'm sure you won't agree with most of this, so please give me some feedback in the comment section. If I listed an album on here that you haven't heard, and sounds interesting, then please go and check it out. I wouldn't steer you wrong, cuties!

This Party is Lame

A certain friend of mine loves to tease me about my stance on political parties. While he tends to agree with me on many issues, he seems to find it childish that I don't belong to the Democratic Party. I feel the opposite way. I feel that belonging to any political party is about as childish as it gets.

Political parties are nothing more than a slightly more mature version of the childhood cliques we all had when we were in school. The instinct to seek out comradery among like-minded people is a perfectly natural one. The problem is, it wasn't good enough to just have a group of people you could talk to and associate yourself with, but it was almost mandatory to demonize the other cliques. Anyone different from you was automatically less human, and thus worthy of ridicule. Most of us outgrew that phase. Why can't we outgrow political parties?

Now let me be very clear. I'm not talking exclusively about Democrats and Republicans, so wipe the smirk off your face, Green Partiers and Tea Partiers. I'm also not saying that you shouldn't vote for a candidate from a certain party. What I'm saying is that you should vote based on the human being and not the letter next to the candidate's name. It seems like a simple enough concept, but for some reason it's a difficult one for many Americans to grasp.

Jay Leno is as American as Apple Pie. I Prefer Pumpkin

Tonight will certainly be a banner night for middle America. It will be a night to remember for blue haired old ladies who like their comedy the same way they like their food: soft, bland, and easy to swallow. In fact it will be a night to rejoice for anyone with a television and poor taste.

That's right folks, tonight marks the return of everyone's favorite comedic dullard, Jay Leno to The Tonight Show. In their sheer brilliance, the executives at NBC have replaced Conan O'Brien, whose original humor couldn't quite catch on with Jay's dying (literally) demographic, with their old standby. Rejoice America! We have our Jay back! The question is, who wants him?

Truth be told I'm somewhat of a bandwagoner when it comes to hating Leno. I never found him particularly funny when I would occasionally watch him lead into Conan in the old days (And by old days, I mean a year ago). But every once in awhile I'd crack a smile, and I certainly preferred him to the vastly overrated David Letterman.

What tipped the scales was when I tuned into his utterly ridiculous 10pm show. On the surface, it was more or less the same show that he did at 11:30. I was left wondering: Did he completely lose all traces of his comedic edge, or was I just starting to realize how painfully unfunny he truly was? I think I'd have to choose the latter. Couple that with his history of fucking over other hosts, and I am now a card-carrying member of the "Leno Sucks" fan club.

So I won't be watching Mr. Leno when he makes his less than triumphant return to the chair formerly held by actual comedians with comic timing and improvisational skills like Allen, Paar, Carson, and O'Brien. I understand he'll have Sarah Palin on the second night. Perhaps I'll tune in for that show and that show only. A conversation between those two dimwits might be the funniest the show gets.